Natural Mom Monday: How Snooki Helped Me Stop Breast Feeding

A few weeks ago I shared some painful news about my relationship with my 21 month old son Nolan. After a long and mutually beneficial relationship I decided to end things once and for all. As I suspected he kicked, screamed and protested this new separation. And as I suspected I caved quicker than a mine in Chile.

Breastfeeding is a glorious and wonderful thing when its working for both mom and baby. But the oompa-loompa looking drag queen of reality TV (no  offense to drag queens), Snooki, wasn't far off when she talked about why she won't be breast feeding her new baby, "It's kind of like you're a cow and you're just milking".

She's so freakin eloquent.

There is TONS of information out there about how to get a "good latch" in-spite of flat nipples, c-sections, family pressure, and delivery complications. But I've yet to find the holy grail on how to STOP!

I thought I had a solid plan. My husband would sleep downstairs on the couch with our son for a week, and by the end he would be weaned from the boob, at least for the night feedings. For me the issue is the incessant suckling that goes on between the hours of 12am - 9am. We are nearly connected all night long which means though I'm getting sleep, the position I'm in is dictated by an adorable 30 lb "baby".

The problem with this approach was that as soon as he came back in bed with both of us, the nursing continued with full force.

Then I tried nursing him in the room that he "shares" with his 6 year old brother. I removed the side of his crib to make it into a daybed, thinking if he felt like he had a "big boy" bed he'd be more likely to stay in it. Slap me the next time I say I'm "thinking" anything.

I would put him down, kneel next him on the floor and nurse him until he fell asleep. I looked like a circus contortionist--- propping my boob on the side of the bed, then twisting my body so I could slowly dislodge it and creep out of the room.

During the day it's FAR easier to distract him with toys, his brothers, or solid food when he asks to nurse. We've gotten it down to only two sessions, which has made leaving my house for a few hours or having my mom watch him much easier.

The Perfect Booby Storm

A few days ago something not so wonderful happened to my husband that presented me with the PERFECT opportunity finally nip this night feeding in the bud. Last Tuesday I had to rush my husband to the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery. I felt awful he was in such excruciating pain. The doctor told him he'd be out of commission for at least 4 weeks since his job requires him to move heavy machinery.

His unfortunate news presented me with yet another opportunity to get this kid off the boob. Since my husband won't have to wake up at the butt crack of dawn for a few weeks, having a pissed-off baby crying in his ear a few nights won't really bother him....much.

His time off, coupled with the fact that in 6 weeks I'll be attending the Holistic Moms Network Conference in me with the perfect excuse to finally wean my snuggly-wuggly milk leech.

At 4 am this morning Nolan and I began our "break-up" dance once again. I told him he was done nursing for the night and had to wait until morning to nurse more. He flailed, pouted, and held up one tiny finger in the dark indicating he just wanted "one more time". I could have so easily agreed and quickly gone back to sleep, but this time I"m determined to make it stick.

What was the final straw that made you give up breast feeding?

Taking Back my Boobs in Granolaville, 


I breastfed "S" until 2 weeks before his 2nd birthday. I had to take a trip out west for a week and decided it was time to utilize the separation to help wean. When I returned from my trip I put bandaids on my nips in the shap of an X and told him they were broken. He only asked a few more times and every time I showed him the bandaids, I said they were broken and owie. He got the point :0). Now he just likes to talk about "na-nas" whenever he can (three years later). Maybe he was weaned a bit prematurely as he seems to be a bit obsessed with breasts LOL.

Haha! I am So going to try the broken boobies thing! Brillant!

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